Pregnant Wife Specifically Requests For a ‘Private’ Birth Then Husband Invites Her MIL

Being pregnant is a blessing. But the entire nine months and until the baby is born is going to be a roller coaster ride. Labor and birth will never be easy for all women. And for some expecting mothers, they want this experience to be private. A woman is in a vulnerable situation and sure enough, anyone would understand this request, especially their husbands.

That is exactly what this one mom-to-be (OP) requested from her husband. However, he doesn’t seem to understand the seriousness of this request and ended up inviting over a family member that really made the OP upset.

She decided to take her situation to Reddit to get some advice on how to deal with it. She posted in Reddit’s AITA community. The OP gave a rundown of her situation first. She wrote:

“So for context I (28F) am currently pregnant with my partner (31M) and am a first-time mom. My hospital recently changed their policy and are now allowing two ‘support people’ in the delivery room,” likely being limited at first because of the global health crisis. My mother-in-law made comments early on that she wanted to be there for the birth, and this woman is not subtle. At the time I felt protected” by the hospital protocols set out due to the health crisis, “but set that expectation straight.”

She then shared what her expectations were during delivery. “I explicitly stated that ANYTIME I give birth it will be a private medical experience that only includes my husband and medical team. I thought that it was clear it wasn’t a debate because it’s my body and I have the autonomy to decide who sees it in any context.”

She also shared that she doesn’t have a “good relationship” with her mother-in-law. She thought that she made it clear that she doesn’t want her in the room while she’s delivering the baby. She said that it’s difficult to have “positive interactions” with her even though she tried for years. She added, “It’s absolutely because she’s an ‘IT’S my grandbaby’ person.”

OP believed that she made it clear that she didn’t want MIL in the room, but her husband didn’t seem to get it. “He goes onto say he knows his mother ‘really wants to be in the room to see the baby’s first breath’ I replied logically, ‘if your mom sees their first breath she will also see me pushing and will be looking down at my vagina.'”

She added, “I actually had to explain why I refuse to give birth in front of his mother. I then told him that there are only two priorities in the delivery room and neither of them is his mother or her feelings…. I started crying, I told him that labor and birth will be a most painful and vulnerable experience of my life and that I need him to protect me. I told him that anyone who refuses to protect their pregnant partner failed them and is just dead weight in the delivery room.”

This didn’t sit well with her husband so he called her “rude” and “other negative things” the he stormed out of the apartment. When he came back, he gave her the silent treatment.

She explained, “I told him giving me the silent treatment — because I won’t let his mother spectate as my most intimate area rips open — was very immature and made me worry if he has the emotional intelligence to support me in the delivery room.”

What are your thoughts about the situation? Do you think it was right for her to not allow her MIL? Or give her husband an ultimatum?